Hello!!
I watched the movie Action Replayy last night and that's the reason why
this post happened. No, this is not going to be another review of the
movie. You would agree with me that there is nothing in the movie
worth writing about! But still, it made me think. If I had a time
machine, although mine would be state of the art no noise Rolls Royce
engined star trek kind of machine and not the juvenile bling bling from
the movie, what would I do? Admittedly, the first thing I would do is
go back and unwatch the movie. That aside, what would I want to change
in my life and why? There are innumerable times I must have said, if
only...If only I had done this, decided that, gone there, spoken these
words...along with if only I was a billionairess etc. Life doesn't give
us multiple chances. A lot of times, you choose one road and your life
takes a different shape than if you had chosen another road. Every
fork is different and you almost never reach the same fork again. I
look back into all such junctures in my life and why I did what I did,
what would I have changed and where would I be if it was things were
different.From what university, post grad, job, location, everything
could have been different.
So I decide to spend sometime evaluating
the whats, whys and hows of each stage. Strangely, at each stage, much
as I would like to believe it was my choice, it really wasn't a choice
at all. The only choice I had was either do this or do nothing. Doing
nothing has never been appealing ',so well, I did what I did. The
illusion of control that one has over one's life is probably what
causes one so much angst and heartache. 'If I choose to live in
Mumbai, my life is going to be one long traffic jam'. 'If I choose to
live in London, my life will be ruled by tube strikes and engineering
works' My question then is how different are they? How does it matter?In both instances you reach your destination much later than planned.
So is the case with so many other things. The point being, as men and women of this world, we might choose our own different journeys, but our destinations are kind of predetermined. No matter what one does, in the long run, we are all dead:) and then, is it all much ado over nothing? I keep thinking...
Until next time.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Modern woman?Tough luck girls.
I had a great weekend. Usually weekends are spent rushing from one part of the city to another, meeting one group of friends after another, eating out, watching movies, eating out some more, shopping....phew. The pile of laundry by the washer grows bigger instead of smaller...come on, I slog the entire week at office, why do I need to do the same at home on weekends? Somehow, doing chores, handling the household with elan is something that is always associated with grown-ups. As my brother would say, why do the things which painfully remind us of the fact that we are no longer children? What is this life if full of care, there is no time to stop and stare...these words pop into my mind. Anyways, I digress. Let us leave the conflict of growing up to another rainy day and I shall ramble on with what prompted this post.
I like to think of myself as a 'modern woman' juggling home and work, enjoying a good social life albeit ending at 11 pm as I need my sleep. I like my comforts, have my preferences which I cannot compromise on, have a clear goal in my career and have full faith in the modern society, refusing to believe one bit that it is corrupting us.I dont like being told what to do and how to do, like planning holidays to places I want to see, not I have to vist.I like to wear what suits my fancy...dont get me wrong, I love sarees and salwars, but when I want to wear them, hate being told to wear something. I like sleeping late on weekends, binging on junk food when dont feel like cooking. And I do all of these things, so I should be happy right? But somewhere deep down, there is always this conflict....am I truly happy? Every decision I take for myself and for my husband, I feel the need to justify to myself that this is what we want and we deserve it and why there is nothing wrong in doing as we pleased. Every decision, even the pettiest ones become an emotional evaluation, which finally is so taxing that it leaves a sense of gloom behind.
Just the other day, I was telling my sister-in-law, how when we girls were in school, life was all about getting good grades, doing well in sports and extra currics, getting into the top grad schools and making a name for ourselves. And then comes the big change...marriage. The minute a girl is married, it is as if she is a totally different person. Expectations are different...No matter how changed the society is, how liberated one's parents are, the old school shackles are still there, just manifested differently. The 'gold medalist daughter' is judged on a very different set of rules which are totally unfamiliar to her. How good looking is she, fair, homely? Can she cook?Does she wake up at the crack of dawn, touch the elder's feet seeking blessings, speaking demurely, compliant, wearing traditional attire and being a general homebody? How soon do the couple plan to have kids? and the list goes on and on. Some might think, whats the big deal.Well, actually, the rules themselves are not difficult. The issue is this question which pops up. Why am I now asked to be someone else altogether? What were important to me growing up suddenly do not seem to matter to anyone else, and what was never of any concern has come to the forefront. I am sure every one of us women out there have faced this confusion in some shape or form. And probably the biggest reason for the dilemma one faces...what is right? Surely what matters is that which makes me truly happy...does it really? Maybe thats all there is to it and I am overanalysing as always. I think I will need to walk this journey on my own to figure out what matters and what doesnt.
Until next time,
Bye from me.
I like to think of myself as a 'modern woman' juggling home and work, enjoying a good social life albeit ending at 11 pm as I need my sleep. I like my comforts, have my preferences which I cannot compromise on, have a clear goal in my career and have full faith in the modern society, refusing to believe one bit that it is corrupting us.I dont like being told what to do and how to do, like planning holidays to places I want to see, not I have to vist.I like to wear what suits my fancy...dont get me wrong, I love sarees and salwars, but when I want to wear them, hate being told to wear something. I like sleeping late on weekends, binging on junk food when dont feel like cooking. And I do all of these things, so I should be happy right? But somewhere deep down, there is always this conflict....am I truly happy? Every decision I take for myself and for my husband, I feel the need to justify to myself that this is what we want and we deserve it and why there is nothing wrong in doing as we pleased. Every decision, even the pettiest ones become an emotional evaluation, which finally is so taxing that it leaves a sense of gloom behind.
Just the other day, I was telling my sister-in-law, how when we girls were in school, life was all about getting good grades, doing well in sports and extra currics, getting into the top grad schools and making a name for ourselves. And then comes the big change...marriage. The minute a girl is married, it is as if she is a totally different person. Expectations are different...No matter how changed the society is, how liberated one's parents are, the old school shackles are still there, just manifested differently. The 'gold medalist daughter' is judged on a very different set of rules which are totally unfamiliar to her. How good looking is she, fair, homely? Can she cook?Does she wake up at the crack of dawn, touch the elder's feet seeking blessings, speaking demurely, compliant, wearing traditional attire and being a general homebody? How soon do the couple plan to have kids? and the list goes on and on. Some might think, whats the big deal.Well, actually, the rules themselves are not difficult. The issue is this question which pops up. Why am I now asked to be someone else altogether? What were important to me growing up suddenly do not seem to matter to anyone else, and what was never of any concern has come to the forefront. I am sure every one of us women out there have faced this confusion in some shape or form. And probably the biggest reason for the dilemma one faces...what is right? Surely what matters is that which makes me truly happy...does it really? Maybe thats all there is to it and I am overanalysing as always. I think I will need to walk this journey on my own to figure out what matters and what doesnt.
Until next time,
Bye from me.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Hello,
I am just one of the millions of people attempting to capture their thoughts in text for them to read in posterity. This is among my many attempts at writing regularly. I do have another blog but have reserved that for downloading any of my poetic fancies and keep this one for prose. A shot at being organised.
A quick introduction. When I am not working in my day job in FMCG marketing, crunching numbers chasing after elusive market shares, EBIT, CEBIT, creating adverts which noone else sees as much as I do, I tend to slouch in my couch with the TV on, curled up with a book or pottering around in the kitchen. These are the three of my favourite things:) An impatient person, somehow I find cooking very very relaxing and fulfilling. To the extent I was tempted to start a cooking blog, then I gave up when I saw some of the great stuff out there. I read about food photography, took one (great) picture which is shelved somewhere along with the idea. Instead of waiting for inspiring thoughts and ideas which make a great blog, I decided to just use this as a canvas for my ordinary everyday conversations with self. Hope you, whoever you are in the vast expanse of cyberworld, read it and sometimes think, 'Hey, that's how I feel too'!
Happy times ahead!
I am just one of the millions of people attempting to capture their thoughts in text for them to read in posterity. This is among my many attempts at writing regularly. I do have another blog but have reserved that for downloading any of my poetic fancies and keep this one for prose. A shot at being organised.
A quick introduction. When I am not working in my day job in FMCG marketing, crunching numbers chasing after elusive market shares, EBIT, CEBIT, creating adverts which noone else sees as much as I do, I tend to slouch in my couch with the TV on, curled up with a book or pottering around in the kitchen. These are the three of my favourite things:) An impatient person, somehow I find cooking very very relaxing and fulfilling. To the extent I was tempted to start a cooking blog, then I gave up when I saw some of the great stuff out there. I read about food photography, took one (great) picture which is shelved somewhere along with the idea. Instead of waiting for inspiring thoughts and ideas which make a great blog, I decided to just use this as a canvas for my ordinary everyday conversations with self. Hope you, whoever you are in the vast expanse of cyberworld, read it and sometimes think, 'Hey, that's how I feel too'!
Happy times ahead!
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