Modern woman?Tough luck girls.

I had a great weekend. Usually weekends are spent rushing from one part of the city to another, meeting one group of friends after another, eating out, watching movies, eating out some more, shopping....phew. The pile of laundry by the washer grows bigger instead of smaller...come on, I slog the entire week at office, why do I need to do the same at home on weekends? Somehow, doing chores, handling the household with elan is something that is always associated with grown-ups. As my brother would say, why do the things which painfully remind us of the fact that we are no longer children? What is this life if full of care, there is no time to stop and stare...these words pop into my mind. Anyways, I digress. Let us leave the conflict of growing up to another rainy day and I shall ramble on with what prompted this post.
I like to think of myself as a 'modern woman' juggling home and work, enjoying a good social life albeit ending at 11 pm as I need my sleep. I like my comforts, have my preferences which I cannot compromise on, have a clear goal in my career and have full faith in the modern society, refusing to believe one bit that it is corrupting us.I dont like being told what to do and how to do, like planning holidays to places I want to see, not I have to vist.I like to wear what suits my fancy...dont get me wrong, I love sarees and salwars, but when I want to wear them, hate being told to wear something. I like sleeping late on weekends, binging on junk food when dont feel like cooking. And I do all of these things, so I should be happy right? But somewhere deep down, there is always this conflict....am I truly happy? Every decision I take for myself and for my husband, I feel the need to justify to myself that this is what we want and we deserve it and why there is nothing wrong in doing as we pleased. Every decision, even the pettiest ones become an emotional evaluation, which finally is so taxing that it leaves a sense of gloom behind.
Just the other day, I was telling my sister-in-law, how when we girls were in school, life was all about getting good grades, doing well in sports and extra currics, getting into the top grad schools and making a name for ourselves. And then comes the big change...marriage. The minute a girl is married, it is as if she is a totally different person. Expectations are different...No matter how changed the society is, how liberated one's parents are, the old school shackles are still there, just manifested differently. The 'gold medalist daughter' is judged on a very different set of rules which are totally unfamiliar to her. How good looking is she, fair, homely? Can she cook?Does she wake up at the crack of dawn, touch the elder's feet seeking blessings, speaking demurely, compliant, wearing traditional attire and being a general homebody? How soon do the couple plan to have kids? and the list goes on and on. Some might think, whats the big deal.Well, actually, the rules themselves are not difficult. The issue is this question which pops up. Why am I now asked to be someone else altogether? What were important to me growing up suddenly do not seem to matter to anyone else, and what was never of any concern has come to the forefront. I am sure every one of us women out there have faced this confusion in some shape or form. And probably the biggest reason for the dilemma one faces...what is right? Surely what matters is that which makes me truly happy...does it really? Maybe thats all there is to it and I am overanalysing as always. I think I will need to walk this journey on my own to figure out what matters and what doesnt.

Until next time,
Bye from me.